From New Scientist #661, 7th August 1969 [link]
My friend MacAristotle has been studying the community of crofters who inhabit the awful Isle of Oomph.
Here is what he has found out so far:
1. All who speak Gaelic wear false teeth.
2. No one-legged numismatist has any grandchildren.
3. All church-goers are left-handed.
4. No non-swimmers grow roses.
5. Everyone who has no grandchildren plays the bagpipes.
6. No one who wears a kilt ever fails to go to church.
7. Only one-legged numismatists speak no Gaelic.
8. No left-handed inhabitant plays the bagpipes.
9. All those who can swim wear a kilt.MacAristotle has what he calls “a wee conjecture, mind” that there is a connection of some sort between wearing false teeth and growing roses.
He is about to go back and find out. But perhaps you can save him the boat fare. Is there? And, if so, what is it?
[tantalizer111]